Bringing Shame into the Light

Yesterday I was verbally attacked by a mother who disapproves of my parenting. She and I don't know each other very well, but our sons are friends. When I witnessed her harshly reprimanding three boys who were not her own, one of which was my own son, I was quite stunned. I was even more taken aback when she viciously undermined me and the other two caregivers who were present. After I came home and had a chance to let it sink in, I called her on the phone. I asked her if she was alright, that I noticed how upset she had been. I was totally unprepared for her response. She was upset alright, and directed all of her anger at me. Come to find out that her judgment of me has been building over some time, and she realized she couldn't take it anymore and decided to let it all out. I attempted several times to be heard, to share from my perspective, but she was unable to listen. When I realized the conversation was going in circles, I told her that we needed to end the conversation and agree to disagree. She refused to agree to that, saying that she was scared for my son, having a parent who was as uncaring as myself. She was disgusted that I would not agree to her "Christian" parenting style. From what I can tell, what she names "Christian" consists of yelling, screaming and making your children fearful and shamed into submission. I ended the call as quickly as possible following her hope that "this would be a real wake-up call" for me.

I thought I could shake it off. It was ludicrous. I knew and know that what she said is untrue. But I have not been able to shake it off. I keep crying. I keep hearing her words in my head. I am afraid to go where I might see her.

I don't want to carry around this shame, which is why I'm bringing it out into the light. Shame doesn't do so well in the light, it prefers that it's host keeps it tucked away in secret, where it can grow stronger and more deadly.

Say a prayer for me, for the other mom, for our kids. Say a prayer for those whose spirits are down today. May God lift us up, shine on us, transforming our fear to love.