Bringing Shame into the Light

Yesterday I was verbally attacked by a mother who disapproves of my parenting. She and I don't know each other very well, but our sons are friends. When I witnessed her harshly reprimanding three boys who were not her own, one of which was my own son, I was quite stunned. I was even more taken aback when she viciously undermined me and the other two caregivers who were present. After I came home and had a chance to let it sink in, I called her on the phone. I asked her if she was alright, that I noticed how upset she had been. I was totally unprepared for her response. She was upset alright, and directed all of her anger at me. Come to find out that her judgment of me has been building over some time, and she realized she couldn't take it anymore and decided to let it all out. I attempted several times to be heard, to share from my perspective, but she was unable to listen. When I realized the conversation was going in circles, I told her that we needed to end the conversation and agree to disagree. She refused to agree to that, saying that she was scared for my son, having a parent who was as uncaring as myself. She was disgusted that I would not agree to her "Christian" parenting style. From what I can tell, what she names "Christian" consists of yelling, screaming and making your children fearful and shamed into submission. I ended the call as quickly as possible following her hope that "this would be a real wake-up call" for me.

I thought I could shake it off. It was ludicrous. I knew and know that what she said is untrue. But I have not been able to shake it off. I keep crying. I keep hearing her words in my head. I am afraid to go where I might see her.

I don't want to carry around this shame, which is why I'm bringing it out into the light. Shame doesn't do so well in the light, it prefers that it's host keeps it tucked away in secret, where it can grow stronger and more deadly.

Say a prayer for me, for the other mom, for our kids. Say a prayer for those whose spirits are down today. May God lift us up, shine on us, transforming our fear to love.

Easter at Eagle Harbor Church

We hope to see you on Easter Sunday, April 24! Come to Sunrise at the Faye Bainbridge lower picnic shelter at 7:00am. We'll sing, hear the resurrection story in a drama, and celebrate Communion. It's a fun experience for kids, coming out to the beach early in the morning (maybe still in their jammies), warming up by the fire in the shelter, and participating in worship. Afterwards, they can enjoy hot chocolate and bagels. Our 9:30 worship time will be kid-friendly as well. Following Children's Time, I'll take the kids to the classroom at the end of the hall for Kids' Worship. We'll explore the Easter story through drama, a game, and music. We'll make tambourines, and use them when we come back to the Sanctuary for the final hymn. An egg hunt will follow the service, either in the backyard, or inside if it's rainy. Nursery-care for our young ones will be available during the 9:30 service.

The Grace in Rhythm

I enjoy reading books on organizing and time management, to catch some inspiration, jot down ideas and implement the ones that I think may help me be more organized and efficient. Many of these books talk about balance. Achieving a work/life balance for a working parent in today's age is unattainable. Even if the scales are momentarily balanced, it is only a matter of time that one side comes crashing to the ground. Martin Copenhaver, in a daily devotional that comes to my email inbox, remarks that the Bible never talks about the importance of being balanced people. What it does encourage, he reminds us, is rhythm. The rhythm Jesus modeled of spending time in ministry and then taking time apart to pray. The rhythm of six days of work and one of rest. The rhythm of creation. The rhythm of the seasons. The rhythm of breathing in and breathing out. The rhythm of birth and death. The rhythm that pulses through us and moves our bodies when we hear a musical beat that reaches into our souls.

The rhythm of our community of Eagle Harbor Church includes both coming together and being separate. Sometimes our time together is intense, and other times light-hearted and fun. Our worship service has a rhythm as well: Call to Worship, opening song, the Lord's prayer, Choir, etc. In The Harbor service, our second-Sunday, 11:30 gathering, the rhythm is quite a bit different. We tend to sing several songs in the beginning of the service, have a shorter time of proclamation, and incorporate more of the arts. The feel of our two services are different from one another--the rhythm is not the same--but one may resonate with the way you worship God more than the other. Rhythm has a quality that transcends explanation. Each one experiences it in a unique, God-inspired way.

As this new year begins, you may at times find yourself feeling overwhelmed with responsiblities. You may try for balance again and again, but stumble and fall. Let Jesus catch you. Move with the rhythm you hear, with God as your dancing partner. In the book of Ecclesiastes, we read, “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” God did not create us to be able to do everything at once, balancing all facets of our lives simultaneously. Accept the gift, the grace, of rhythm.

Sign up for Sunday school!

Dear EHCC families,

Come to Eagle Harbor Church this Sunday, September 12, and register your kids for Sunday school! We are excited to offer a wonderful program using the Spark curriculum. To find out more about Spark, go to www.activatefaith.org. We have experienced teachers who are passionate about the faith formation of children. They are warm, nurturing adults who will take special care of your kids. Sunday school occurs during the 9:30 worship service, following the Time with Children. This Sunday we will celebrate a new program year with a brunch and games following worship. We will also be offering a presentation of the Spark curriculum to those in the congregation who are interested in learning more.

Hope to see you on Sunday!

Peace,

Emily

In a Japanese Garden

Be the still pool. Let your face reflect the glory, the wonder.
Be the dragonfly. Silent but joyful.
Be the bud. Prepare to blossom.
Be the tree. Grant shelter.
Be the butterfly. Accept the riches of the moment.
Be the moth. Seek the light.
Be the lantern. Guide the lost.
Be the path. Open the way for another.
Be the wind chime. Let the breeze blow through you.
Turn the storms into song.
Be the rain. Wash away, cleanse, forgive.
Be the grass. Grow back when you are trod upon.
Be the bridge. Reach in peace toward the other side.
Be the moss. Temper your strength with softness, mercy.
Be the soil. Bear fruit.
Be the gardener. Create order.
Be the temple. Let the Spirit dwell in you.
Be the seasons. Welcome change.
Be the moon. Shine through the darkness.
Be the pebble. Let time shape and smooth you.
Be the leaf. Fall gracefully when your time comes to let go.
Trust the circle. To end is to begin.

--by Charmiane Aserappa and Akiko Naomura

Sermon: Prodigal Love (Luke 15:1-3,11b-32)

In the everyday affairs of swapping carpool duty, returning phone calls, balancing checkbooks, and answering emails, and a host of dealings with other human beings, we may at some point allow the chilly thought creep in: "It's not fair." Maybe it happens when glancing at a co-worker who is spending more time on Facebook than the current project. It may cross our minds when we cook the dinner and do the dishes. Perhaps it is feeling like we've had too many responsibilities dumped on us or maybe it is when someone takes credit for our idea. Or we feel bitterness rise in our throats for no apparent reason. One morning this past week I hurried my daughter Eva to the car, snapping at her like an alligator. After clicking her seat-belt, Eva observed like a suave journalist, "you're in a bad mood, mom."

The older brother stays at home, working feverishly, stewing over his younger brother having taken off, discarding the family and wasting away their father's money on cheap thrills. His brother is called prodigal, which means lavish, recklessly extravagant. His resentment building, he cried out, "It's not fair!" The father has not been keeping score. He loves his children unconditionally. He has been waiting for his son to return. He could just as appropriately be described as prodigal -- lavish, excessively extravagant, calling for a feast, uncorking the finest wine, heaping grace onto his son who had wandered off. The younger brother realizes how foolish he's been. He returns to his father, but his brother thinks it is too little, too late. He's already been serving his father. But where is his heart? He did not recognize that he had been offered his father's grace all along, As his father told him, "what is mine is yours!" The father offers unending forgiveness, he longs for reconciliation. Reconciliation means "radical exchange." It is not like reconciling an account, where everything put in equals everything taken out. Radical exchange is something much different. It is exchanging division for relationship, self-seeking for service, fear for love, greed for generosity.

We probably all have relationships that feel off-kilter. The friendship accounts in our brains show that we should do more for this friend and feel guilty, but with relationship X we are being taken advantage of - why are we the ones to get emotionally dumped on? And when was the last time they paid for dinner? Biblical reconciliation is a radical exchange. It is based on the foundation of our reconciliation to God. A religion professor commented on the story, "The father settles the transgressor’s debt not by exacting revenge or meting out punishment but by setting a table. The forgiveness that is offered and received, the reconciliation that has begun (that will take time to complete), is not a private transaction between two people but a meal for the nourishment and healing of the whole community." (Debra Dean Murphy in her blog, Intersections: Thoughts on Religion, Culture, and Politics).

While the younger son was still far off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion; he ran and put his arms around him and kissed him. Reconciliation is God's initiative. While we begin considering turning back to God, God is already running to us with outstretched arms. God yearns to engage in a radical exchange with us. We are prone to wander -- we get lost, sometimes in trying on experiences and values that simply don't satisfy. God welcomes us back home again and again. When we are welcomed in a home, we are offered food and drink. We are welcomed by God with sustenance, nourishment, and warmth for our souls -- if we take our place at the table, if we are open to receive.

Jesus shared his meals with all sorts - including those who did not work for the betterment of society - those who squeezed every last coin out of the pockets of the poor, those who scoffed at the law. Those who did not seek to make others succeed, but only themselves. Looking in on that meal, we can see why it would feel unfair. Why the older brother is more than miffed. We are not enculturated to engage in extravagant love. But the celebration we are invited to is a meal that is open to all. Sara Miles, in her spiritual memoir Take this Bread, describes the food pantry she began in an Episcopal Church in San Francisco. When people from the community process in to fill their grocery bags, no ID cards are needed. The food is on and surrounding the altar. Candles are lit, icons are displayed, blessings are given. It is a receiving of God's grace, food that is available to all. The extravagant prodigal nature that Jesus modeled for us goes way beyond interpersonal reconciliation and extends to the reconciliation of communities, nations, and the world.

We are always returning to the heart of God. Always needing the reminder that we are God's beloved children. We may leave and return daily, hourly, or from one moment to the next. Returning after being distracted by the worries and cares of life, returning to home, the womb of God. Henri Nouwen wrote that there is hope for us even after experiencing the most divisive of personal encounters . . . "There's nothing as painful as being rejected, but it it is lived against the background of the first love, it becomes possible to survive. This is a story of the spiritual life."

I find it interesting that so many couples choose 1 Corinthians 13 to be read at their weddings. Do we really want to remind ourselves that true love keeps no record of wrongs?! We can give and give and give and appear to be have a heart overflowing with love, but may be internally grumbling like the older brother. The elder son says "All these years I have slaved for you." He never needed to earn his father's love, it was graced to him before his first breath! Yet he tried so hard to earn his father's favor. He bitterly referred to his brother as "this son of yours." Resentment, what Nouwen described as cold anger, lodges in our hearts and hides there, causing us to lose ourselves. The letter to the Ephesians tells us that God's Spirit is grieved by bitterness. With a prodigal heart, we can return from resentment to gratitude.

Our society can be described by divisions. Divisions based on race, ethnicity, political affiliation, income, values. Divisions in families because of past hurts. Divisions in churches because of disagreements. Divisions abound because of fear, of not being open to the other, because it is so hard to let go of that very human urge to keep score.

We have all been hurt by people in our lives. Our parents, our children, our aunts and uncles, our neighbors, church members and strangers, are unable to perfectly reflect God's unconditional love. We too have hurt others. God who loves us extravagantly, gives us the freedom to wander away.

A friend of mine often reminds herself to release her expectations, and live in reality. If we expect to be perfectly loved by human beings, we will be disappointed. They may be trying to reflect God's love, and in some ways they truly do. But God's spirit dwelling within and among us is the perfect love that is real. When we return to the heart of God, we remember who we are.

We have all been lost, frustrated that the grass was not greener when we wandered away, we have been the younger brother. We have hung our heads in shame. We have been resentful, we have seethed over being unfairly uncared for. We have been the elder brother. But where do we go from there? Do we crouch in fear, in anger, in shame? Or do we open ourselves, and take our place at the table? We can begin by saying thanks. What are we grateful for? When we feel like the older brother, we can ask ourselves this question. If we have a hard time answering, we may need to venture outside of our box. We may need to look up at the night sky on a clear night and breathe in some amazing. We may need to get down on our knees and think back over the last day, the last week, the last year, and ask God to show how God's spirit was there with us, especially when we were at our lowest. We can ask God's blessing on those we are having trouble getting along with--or that person who has it all together, who you find yourself hoping that she'll trip and fall. The older brother secretly hoped that if his brother ever returned, he would be shown the door, that he would be told, "if only you had been like your older brother." That his father would be even more pleased with his hard work. But that is not the logic of the kin-dom of God.

The story Jesus told is left hanging. The brothers have yet to reconcile. How will we reconcile with those in our lives, how will we begin the radical exchange? Begin by taking that first step, grounding ourselves in God's love, and open our hearts, our lives. How will we be a church, a community, a kin-dom that keeps no score cards, whose love is given extravagantly? By looking always to God. By trusting that God will give us the strength that we need to come together despite differences, past injustices and pain.

Reckless extravagance calls for celebration. Celebrate people by affirming them, showing your gratitude, by lifting a glass to friendship and love. The celebration and thanksgiving is shared with everyone. Judgment has no place at the table. Resentment has no place at the table. At the party we are connected deeply with community. In this true community, there is no settling of scores, no keeping track, no need to worry about what people think. Think of who you've invited to your table, to whom have you shown a grace that is not of this world? Who might you invite? Who may need to be shown prodigal love?

Rembrandt painted The Return of the Prodigal Son at the end of his life after enduring immense suffering. He had witnessed the deaths of his children and wives and after living quite recklessly was stuck in financial ruin. He was bitter for a time, arrogant and was very difficult to get along with. But at some point he released that bitterness. His biographers believe that that he learned through his losses to become completely dependent on God. When he died, only one book was found among his possessions: his Dutch Bible. He realized that love and compassion outshines all of the worldly pleasures he tried on. He painted his self-portrait into the Prodigal Son painting, depicting himself as the father tenderly welcoming his son home.

May we be so welcoming, so grounded in the grace of God, so nourished and filled by the Spirit, that we find that all of the relationship accounts in our brains, all of the counters and trackers of deeds, have dissolved, and that they are replaced with reckless extravagance, with a prodigal nature. May we celebrate and give thanks.

Epiphany!

The story of the three wise men who followed a bright star to greet the Christ-child has captured imaginations throughout the centuries and around the globe. Epiphany, meaning "sudden appearance" or "manifestation", is celebrated twelve days after Christmas, on January 6. Tomorrow at Eagle Harbor Congregational Church we will tell the story in many ways, including art, drama, and music. Children will act the part of the wise ones, bearing gifts and going on a journey through the Sanctuary. Readers will share poems written by Joyce Rupp and Howard Thurman.

If you are unable to attend church tomorrow, we hope that you will consider worshiping together as a family.

Here is an idea for an Epiphany family worship service:

Sing a favorite Christmas carol such as Silent Night or Away in a Manger

Pray a prayer of thanks and joy to God. Ask the Spirit to bless your time of worship.

Read Isaiah 60:1-6 and Matthew 2:1-12 or read the story of the wise men in a story Bible.

Prayer of confession: O God, our guide, who once used a star to lead people to Christ,we confess our poor sense of direction. We let ourselves become confused, easily distracted, and lose our way. We fail to follow the signs you provide. Forgive us, God. Lead us to Christ, so that we may follow his way to you. Amen.

Sing "We three kings"

We three kings of Orient are
Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and mountain
Following yonder star

O Star of wonder, star of night
Star with royal beauty bright
Westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to thy Perfect Light

Talk about what it might have been like to have been one of those wise ones. What do you think the journey was like for them, and how did they feel at different points along the way?

Try an art project such as making a star together to hang in a prominent place in the home. Talk about how it can serve as a reminder that God's Spirit resides in your home, and in your hearts.

Family Communion:

God of all, awake to the dawning light of this Epiphany season, we gather around your table. Bless this bread and cup we pray, that we would be nourished by your infinite grace. Amen.

We remember that on the night that Jesus shared a meal with his friends, when one of his friends turned against him, that Jesus took bread, gave thanks, broke it, and gave a piece to each of them. He told them that the bread represented his own body and his love for them. They enjoyed the bread together. Then Jesus poured wine into a cup, blessed it, and poured it for the others. The cup reminds us of the grace of God, the brave way Jesus gave his life for those he loved, and the blessings we share as the family of God. As often as we drink it, we do so in remembrance of Jesus.

Share the bread and cup. Offer the elements to one another. It need not be a solemn meal! Kids do a great job reminding us that Sacraments are a joyful celebration of God's love.

Thank you, prayer:

Thank you God for taking care of us, for filling our bellies with food and filling our hearts with love.

Closing Song: Go Tell it on the Mountain

Go tell it on the mountain,
Over the hills and everywhere,
Go tell it on the mountain,
Our Jesus Christ is born.

When I was a seeker
I sought both night and day,
I asked the Lord to help me,
And he showed me the way.

Go tell it on the mountain,
Over the hills and everywhere,
Go tell it on the mountain,
Our Jesus Christ is born.

Closing prayer: Shine your light on our path, O God, that we may continually walk with Jesus in our hearts. The wise ones were told in a dream to go home by another route - may we know that God is with us on the road, even when unexpected detours arise. Epiphany celebrates the revelation of Christ to the entire world. May we use our gifts to shine the light of Christ far and wide.


Peace be with you!